How relationship anxiety could play havoc with your love life

It’s not easy to commit to something new and this applies to our relationships too. When the magical allure of the initial attraction wears off, and when it’s time to decide whether you want to be with this person or not, a brief period of indecisiveness is quite normal. But for many people, this period could stretch into a long uncomfortable pause that could make the other person wonder what’s wrong.

Relationship anxiety may be one of the reasons you would not want to date too many people as it can leave you exhausted and overwhelmed. You may fear getting dumped all the time or imagine all the worst possible scenarios that could end the relationship. It’s better not to commit, you may feel. Even if you do commit, you are hardly at ease.

Dr Nicole LePera, psychologist and bestseller author, in her recent Instagram post talked about the signs that one could be suffering from relationship anxiety.

Signs of relationship anxiety

Do you feel trapped or overwhelmed in a relationship or have this nagging fear that your partner might betray you? This could be relationship anxiety. It can stem from an unsuccessful, toxic or abusive relationship in the past, your childhood issues or even low self-esteem.

Relationship anxiety is feeling constantly worried or insecure in a relationship even if everything seems to be going well.

There are many reasons of relationship anxiety and how we are raised could also affect our mindset.

“Relationship anxiety is so common because we have a society of people raised with insecure attachments meaning, their first relationship with a parent figure at birth was not safe, secure, and did not provide a space for us to develop into who we actually are,” wrote Dr LePera.

“So, when we begin relationships as adults, we are fearful, mistrusting, insecure, and projecting our past onto the person we meet,” she adds.

Here are top signs that indicate you have relationship anxiety as per Dr LePera

* Replaying conversations over and over again thinking about what you said or did wrong

* If people don’t text you back right away, your mind creates stories that they no longer want to be your friend or are uninterested in you

* You immediately jump 100% into relationships neglecting other parts of your life (friends, work, hobbies, interests, family etc)

* You have a nagging feeling or constant fear that your partner is going to betray you that you cannot shake

* When you meet someone new, your entire focus is on what they think about you or if they will choose you

* Relationships make you feel trapped or overwhelmed a majority of the time, so you tend to ” not commit” or date many people to cope

How to get out of relationship anxiety

“The more we connect with ourselves, the more we understand how our childhood impacted us and is also not our fate or destiny, the more we heal: the more we respect + value ourselves,” says the expert.

“As we respect and value ourselves, we enter into relationships from a different perspective of self connection rather than self betrayal,” adds Dr LePera.

By Parmita Uniyal -Hindustan Times

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